Support | Empower | Encourage Women
It has been a long journey, one which started on a Friday afternoon in June 2017 at the Regatta Hotel on Coronation Drive, Toowong, Brisbane. I had no idea my adventure would end up at Sisterhood of Roses.
At my wits end I needed an escape from my corporate job. It felt like I was destroying my career and my passion had turned into resentment. My body was revolting against the stress, I was in a state of turmoil. A nervous breakdown was only days away and I was angry with myself, my employer and the world! It was time for a change.
In desperation for an escape from my current life, I sold my freedom, begging my husband to let me quit my job and I would do anything for a way out. Animal instinct controlling my mind, I needed to take flight or I was going to die.
My partner had a pet project we both had been casually working on, so I agreed to get his dream business going. I didn’t care that I no experience running an online business, I was ready to do anything to escape my current life.
Within a week I resigned. You couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. I said goodbye to my work mates and was free! I’m off to live a life of happiness.
The dream business already had a website (it was only a prototype and needed lots of work) and my plan was to work with the overseas developer to produce the perfect website and our dream business. I now took ownership of Geoff’s dream!
I got straight to work, eager to live up to my end of the deal. My work days were shorter and I was able to fool myself for a while that I was happy with my new freedom, working my own hours and living the dream life.
But when the program crashed a few months later, and Google froze the maps on our site, the smile had disappeared. I sacked the developer I had tried so hard to work with. Disappointment filled my heart.
I’m working my own hours, doing my own thing. But I wasn’t getting anywhere. I still wanted to make this website work so I looked for other options.
Pressure was mounting to get it up. I felt guilty because my husband was supporting me and I hadn’t achieved anything. My confidence was starting to slip, how can I get this site developed properly?
Desperate for a quick fix, and still not really dealing with the problems at hand, I latched on to a new acquaintance who presented as a programmer. Begging her to help me, she promised to take away my problems and present me with the website of my dreams.
What do they say? If its too good to be true, it is!
Well it was. She hoodwinked me, left the country, and left me with nothing. Nothing!
I thought I had hit rock bottom last year, now it’s March 2018 and I still didn’t have a website. For the first time in my life, I really felt defeated. Another tower moment, where my world came crashing down around me.
The pit I had made for myself was deep, and I chose to hide from the world. I became a sloth for two weeks! Darkness overtook my mind. I was angry, embarrassed, hurt, confused and lost. I was questioning if I could go on! Depression was setting in.
How can I trust anyone again? What will people think? There is no way out! I’m a total failure! I tortured myself with the darkest thoughts! I hated myself and my life. Why was life so cruel?
My eyes swollen from the constant crying, I could barely see out of them.
This morning, I woke up, lying still processing a dream I had just had. My husband was standing beside me, which he has never done before. I looked at him and said, “I know what I have to do!” He said, “you have to do it, you have to become a programmer!” I looked at him stunned. That was exactly what I had dreamed. I had to go back to study and learn all about programming.
The synchronicity of that moment gave me faith that maybe this was all part of the process. So I got out of bed and started searching for a course.
You could say I became addicted to learning, it was challenging but a safe place to be. My husband and I enrolled in a success training course with an action coach. It highlighted there were a lot of areas in my life which were missing. However, I did the course focusing on the business, my husband’s dream.
I started volunteering with Orange Sky Australia to give back to community and to add more purpose to my life. Enjoying the connection with other volunteers and people experiencing homelessness, my passion for helping others and affordable housing was growing. And I was particularly alarmed by women my own age experiencing homelessness.
Finally, after multiple attempts I managed to build the website. I didn’t celebrate, where was my joy? The excitement wasn’t there.
While volunteering was giving me some purpose, by June 2019 I decided to leave as I was feeling overwhelmed after each shift. My guard was down and I was feeling extremely negative.
Each day became a struggle. My heart was sad, I was disconnected from myself and I didn’t know who I was anymore. There was no passion and no joy in my life.
Sure there would be those special moments with family and friends when I would crack a smile and maybe even laugh, but my everyday existence was unbearable. My energy was low, life was blah!
Desperate to find the missing elements in my life, I started reading self-help books everyday, and was trying meditation and yoga. Who was I? What did I like? What do I have to do to be happy? How can I be happy everyday?
My friend, invited me to a meditation group with a Buddhist nun. It was an absolute joy to take time to stop and hear the teachings on how to live a happy life. After each session I was debriefing with my friend and experiencing ongoing tower moments. My world was so fragile, I became a sponge for anything that was going to enlighten me on how to find happiness.
With the ongoing disappointments and growing emptiness from doing something I didn’t love, I was experiencing extreme pits of depression on a regular basis.
An opportunity to attend meditation classes with a Buddhist nun changed my life for the better. I had been playing with meditation, but I needed more structure to the techniques I was using.
The classes enhanced my understanding of breathing techniques and setting intentions.
At the same time, I had started attending Yoga classes. Now I was learning a broader range of breathing techniques and moving my body in ways I hadn’t before. My energy was changing. And so was my desire to create the life I wanted and one I loved.
During coffee one afternoon, my friend challenged me. She simply asked, “What are you doing, Lynda?” I looked at her stunned and replied, “What do you mean?”
She had hit a raw nerve.
The business was progressing slowly. But I hated every moment of it. It was my husband’s dream not mine. I had become his commodity! And in doing so I was unhappy and lost. It wasn’t his fault, I had let it happen to me! I had given my power away, I had given my life away.
Who was I? I didn’t know. I had lost all confidence and was super sensitive to an feedback or criticism.
I was stuck, disconnected from my true self. Even though I was doing daily meditations, reading and trying to be more positive, it was more than I could handle. I needed help.
While strolling along North Burleigh Heads, a good friend, shared a story about how a kinesiologist had helped her with a few issues she was having. I hadn’t heard of a kinesiologist before.
It took a few more months of struggle and limited progress in my personal development when I finally made the decision to reach out for help.
The first session I was apprehensive, but within minutes I knew I was in good hands and that this experience was going to change my life forever.
It took a lot of courage, but one day I started a Facebook group called Woman Connect. The idea came to me while sitting quietly in my special space (my guest bedroom).
I realised I wanted to help women. I wanted to support, empower and encourage women to live their best lives. After the journey I had been through and was still pursuing I realised finding self was the answer to happiness.
I jumped up, and just did it. A total leap of faith, I heard my inner self tell me this is good, do it, don’t hesitate and I didn’t. There was no time to be fearful.
Woman Connect eventually became Sisterhood of Roses. The name was important and after a series of synchronistic events it led to the change in name. Not to mention the .com version of WomanConnect was actually a dating site! Ouch. Glad I avoided that embarrassing connection.
So now I have got a facebook page, and this website has been developed. My mission is still to connect women with women by offering a Sisterhood partner program where women can go to find women coaches, healers, therapists and support services for women.
I also have planned my first workshop, Finding Self, and I plan to run this workshop all over Australia eventually. Anyway I’m taking the leap of faith and doing what I love.
If I even help one women by sharing my story and helping women find someone who can help them move closer to their life purpose than I feel successful and like I have contributed in a small way.
One way I want to connect women is with the Sisterhood Partner program.
So if you are a women coach, healer, therapist or you provide some support services for women, please contact me about joining the sisterhood partner program.
With all my heart I wish all women a purposeful life. I have discovered that with self-awareness, self-care and self-management it is possible to change your life for the better.